jinx1147

sinong feel magrow?

2005-05-29T15:52:00.000+08:00

dying to hit the sand..

2005-04-20T02:55:00.000+08:00

gosh!
can't wait for boracay...
2 more weeks...

i have yet to celebrate...
the grad
my last REAL summer
my celeb dinner with DIGO!

i better hit the sack!
ciao!

miss you MOM!

i need serious help

2005-04-16T21:09:00.000+08:00

im having a moment again...
nasesenti ako..
im reminiscing those days iv been trying to forget..

how i use to smile because of something you said..
us, laughing because of the stupid things i just did

how i can beat a clown's smile
whenever i see your name on my phone's screen

how i can never put an end to being giddy
just because i got a call

how great it felt to be treated
with so much caring
that you'd be willing to break your curfew
skip other engagements
just to lounge around a little bit longer
lie in bed half-awake
curled in uncomfortable position
just to be with you
to make you feel i care

i never told you i cared about you
but i know you felt i did

i was always afraid to admit how i felt
because i knew how well you can read me
there have been times when i was willing to put my defenses down
but you've always managed to ruin the moment

i'd have to thank you for that
i'd be feeling greater remorse if you knew it all

better that im sulking here
without you feeling any guilt
because none of it were your fault
i should have known

we started in the same page
at least, i thought we did.
i dont remember when and how
but i've managed to leap forward
yes, too forward

were we on the same page?
was i just feeding myself with all these nonsense?
i'll never know

but i know one thing,
we both act as if we've moved on
but we haven't

those loaded remarks must mean something
im too afraid to move towards you
im too fragile to handle rejection
but im too weak to push you out of my thoughts

i need serious help.

2005-04-10T13:08:00.000+08:00

HPAIR in Tagaytay. Royal Pines+Leslie's. April 8 & 9, 2005.

Whoa! I never meant to offend anyone!

2005-04-10T07:19:00.000+08:00

jinx1147 (1:51:43 AM): ksi, hindi naman ata nagmamatter ang course.. yun econ life mshadong magulo, parang tunay na buhay, hindi katulad sa stat.. nagbubuhay HS ako noon

eblucio (1:52:55 AM): sa tingin mo ba hindi ka maguguluhan sa stat?hindi mo ba naisip ang hassle ng pagiisip kung magdodrop ka ba sa stat 121. or ung hassledail sa hindi mo alam ang trabaho mo pagkagraduate mo

Mawalang-galang lang po. Parang ako'y nasaktan sa dayalogong ito. Marahil ay ibinase niyo po ang inyong sinabi sa inyong personal na karanasan sa sandaling panahon na kayo'y Stat Major. Ngunit kahit sino pa po ang tanungin galing sa eskwelahan namin, ang buhay Stat po ay malayong-malayo sa buhay High School. Madalas ay naririnig po naming minamaliit ang Stat, pero hindi nalalaman ng mga galing sa ibang kolehiyo ang hirap at pasakit na pinagdadaanan namin. Hindi niyo po nalalaman na sa iisang semestre ay umaabot sa limang papers ang aming dapat gawin, tapusin, AT idepensa. At ang isang paper po ay halos katumbas na ng mga thesis o feasib o kung ano pa man ang pinag-uukulan ninyo ng panahon. Pare-pareho lang po tayong puyat at walang tulog. Pare-pareho lang po tayong taga-UP.
At bagaman hindi namin "alam ang trabaho mo pagkagraduate mo", hindi ba't nag-aalinlangan naman ang lahat ng bagong tapos dahil dito? Lalo na ngayong ang unemployment rate ng Pilipinas ay lumalala dahil sa pagdagsa ng mga bagong dagdag sa labor force. Tayo'y nasa iisang bangka, ika nga.

Maligayang Pagtatapos na lamang sa ating lahat.

Peace.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
apologies to you all..

take it from this context...
i was such a kid.. nagbubuhay HS ako noon.. ako yun. feeling ko kasi minsan iba na ako ngayon. feeling ko, if i were in stat hindi ganon. forever masaya.. im not trying to patronize anyone.. bsta.. wala lng kasi akong sad moment sa stat..parang HS.. halos wala akong maalalang sad moment, parang perfect life. hindi gaya ngayon... maybe life aint really perfect but my memories of stat is sort of a sanctuary to me pag low EQ na ko.. yun ang default moment ko pagnkakasad ang college... isipin ko n lng nun freshman ako.. nung araw araw akong tinitiis ni rosselle.. yun MRT trips... yun movies.. yun tambay in my haus.. EK.. basta lahat,.. pati stand up performance ni rosselle in class.

dun sa hirit ni ED.. my bad.. personal sentiment nya yun.. maybe i shldv asked if he'd like his comment posted for the world to read..maybe, he was just trying to console me, make me feel better.. kasi nga sinabi kong pinagsisihan ko na ata yun pagshift ko noon.

chka anuva. i just said: ksi, hindi naman ata nagmamatter ang course dahil lahat ata ng tao nahihirapan humanap pa rin ng trabaho.. except sa mga gifted ppl na sila pa ang hinahabol!

well well well.. life nga naman.

swerte ko talaga, may mga taong tulad ni lucio sa buhay ko.

2005-03-24T02:13:00.000+08:00

eblucio (1:30:16 AM): hi dayan!
eblucio (1:30:20 AM): how's ur day?
jinx1147 (1:30:29 AM): bum
jinx1147 (1:30:34 AM): tulog at tv
jinx1147 (1:30:38 AM): kaw?
eblucio (1:30:43 AM): =) that's gud
eblucio (1:30:50 AM): ok lang.
eblucio (1:30:57 AM): =) puyat dahil sa bisyo ng net at laro
eblucio (1:31:16 AM): masaya naman dahil lumalaki ang mga halaman ko (kamatis, ampalaya, okra, at sili)
jinx1147 (1:31:18 AM): ang serious mo sumagot... si lucio ka ba tlga???
jinx1147 (1:31:22 AM): ayan...
jinx1147 (1:31:46 AM): kamatis?
eblucio (1:31:49 AM): hahahaha
jinx1147 (1:31:51 AM): ediba maselan yun?
eblucio (1:31:58 AM): pangalawang tao k nang nagssabi yan
jinx1147 (1:32:01 AM): me green thumb ka?
eblucio (1:32:11 AM): hmm.. ewan. isang dangkal pa alng laki nya eh
jinx1147 (1:32:12 AM): parang si puyi..
jinx1147 (1:32:26 AM): naaalala mo ba kung sino si puyi?
eblucio (1:32:27 AM): si henri pu yi ?
eblucio (1:32:42 AM): naalala mo?
jinx1147 (1:33:22 AM): basta yun kas2 charac na pinanood natin
jinx1147 (1:33:31 AM): tama? same memory ba to?
eblucio (1:33:38 AM): oo nga. kung saan seatmate ko si dayan
jinx1147 (1:33:39 AM): tama.. henry nga!
eblucio (1:33:42 AM): =)
jinx1147 (1:33:48 AM): hehee
blucio (1:33:48 AM): oI!
eblucio (1:33:57 AM): anong gnagawa mo? nakatulog k n ba>?
jinx1147 (1:34:44 AM): yeah.. tulog ako mula 4 pm up to mga 10
jinx1147 (1:35:05 AM): ikaw, natulog ka na? o nagtanim k lng buong araw?
eblucio (1:35:14 AM): hmm.. umalis kami ni bebang.
eblucio (1:35:15 AM): =)
eblucio (1:35:25 AM): nagising ako mga 9
jinx1147 (1:35:29 AM): how swet!
eblucio (1:35:31 AM): alis ng 11-9pm
eblucio (1:35:41 AM): swet. oonga pawis ako
eblucio (1:35:47 AM): =)
eblucio (1:35:47 AM): diane
jinx1147 (1:35:50 AM): o?
eblucio (1:35:56 AM): naaalala ko pa nung una kitang makita
eblucio (1:36:03 AM): hahahah
eblucio (1:36:05 AM): kausap mo si chuck
eblucio (1:36:09 AM): sa alumni center
eblucio (1:36:12 AM): english p nga kau magusap nun eh
jinx1147 (1:36:17 AM): sus!
eblucio (1:36:21 AM): hehe. tapos ako katabi mo, d mo pinapansin
jinx1147 (1:36:31 AM): tlga? sorry!
eblucio (1:36:37 AM): nalaman mo ba na nageexist ako nun?
jinx1147 (1:36:42 AM): scared ako nun sa skul..
jinx1147 (1:36:56 AM): feeling ko kakainin ako ng buhay!
jinx1147 (1:37:09 AM): kahit kaya sa block hindi ko naman naiimik lahat..
eblucio (1:37:51 AM): hahhaha
eblucio (1:38:02 AM): pero vivid pa ang memory ko nung first meeting natin para sa kas2
eblucio (1:38:09 AM): sa as steps un
eblucio (1:38:12 AM): late k pa nga dumating eh
jinx1147 (1:38:18 AM): tapos?
eblucio (1:38:29 AM): tpos is chck, may dalang libro na black. world history (si chuck nga ba may dala nun o ikaw?)
jinx1147 (1:38:38 AM): alam mo.. for some reason.. si chuck lng naalala ko..
eblucio (1:38:41 AM): hahaha. tapos naweweirduhan ako sau nun, kasi masyado kang hyper. noon lang kasi ako nakakita ng sobrang hyper na babae
jinx1147 (1:38:58 AM): i dnt remember anyone else,,, pero naalala ko pa kung anong suot nya
eblucio (1:39:04 AM): ang suot mo pa ngaun ay miniskirt
jinx1147 (1:39:23 AM): tlga?
jinx1147 (1:39:28 AM): hindi ko na maalala..
jinx1147 (1:39:50 AM): alam ko ang sungit ko nung start kasi naiingayan ako kay rosselle..
eblucio (1:40:01 AM): hahahaha
eblucio (1:40:18 AM): nakakailang k ngang lapitan nun, kasi hehehe. wala lang
jinx1147 (1:40:48 AM): tlga? bkit?
eblucio (1:40:52 AM): naalalamo pa ba ung mga first few days mo sa UP?
jinx1147 (1:40:59 AM): sungit ko ba tlga? as in?
eblucio (1:41:08 AM): ah! oo nga pala! pumunta din tayo kina chuck dun para sa group meeting
jinx1147 (1:41:10 AM): vaguely ko n lng naalala
eblucio (1:41:13 AM): dun sa may post office
eblucio (1:41:21 AM): taspo umuulan
jinx1147 (1:41:23 AM): tapos?tlga?
jinx1147 (1:41:32 AM): omg!
eblucio (1:41:40 AM): tapos kasama ni chuck sa boarding haus ay ung kaibigan mong taga masscom na parang tomboy
jinx1147 (1:41:41 AM): faint na lng memory ko. sino yun?
eblucio (1:42:04 AM): tapos ang binili ni chuck na pagkain ay nova, at iba pa.. saka softdrinks
jinx1147 (1:42:10 AM): omg!..ang saya
eblucio (1:42:13 AM): hmm..ung maliit, kaklase ko sa bowling nung 1styr 1st sem
jinx1147 (1:42:27 AM): RTP!
jinx1147 (1:42:49 AM): classmate ko kaya nun HS?...
jinx1147 (1:42:59 AM): a hindi! naalala ko na.. si kate...
eblucio (1:43:08 AM): oo kate!
jinx1147 (1:43:14 AM): friend yun ng kabarkada ko nun HS
eblucio (1:43:23 AM): ung mukhang malakas magyosi na maliit na chubby
jinx1147 (1:43:25 AM): hahaha
eblucio (1:43:44 AM): makikitamo sa mukha nya na yosi addict eh
eblucio (1:43:46 AM): hehehe
jinx1147 (1:44:34 AM): ganon!?
eblucio (1:44:40 AM): eh, diane, kamusta naman ang college life mo?
jinx1147 (1:46:47 AM): gumulo.
eblucio (1:46:59 AM): bket?
jinx1147 (1:47:03 AM): minsan inisip ko dpat sa stat n lng ako
jinx1147 (1:47:08 AM): mas simple.
eblucio (1:47:10 AM): baket nmn?
jinx1147 (1:47:19 AM): masaya naman ako ngayon kaya lng mashadong marami nangyari..
eblucio (1:47:32 AM): baket gumulo?j
inx1147 (1:47:39 AM): sna mas mabagal pa yun panahon, para mas maalala ko pa lahat
eblucio (1:47:51 AM): sana pwedeng hindi na matulog
jinx1147 (1:47:54 AM): tama, sayang oras
eblucio (1:48:04 AM): kulang na kulang ung oras eh
jinx1147 (1:48:07 AM): onga...haaay
eblucio (1:48:12 AM): madalas ko naiisip yan, ang dami kong gustong gawin
jinx1147 (1:48:23 AM): ako din! pero parang kulang ang araw..
eblucio (1:48:35 AM): walang oras (mas madalas, walang motivation)
jinx1147 (1:48:42 AM): agree! puro gusto..hindi namn kumikilos
eblucio (1:49:00 AM): oonga
jinx1147 (1:49:09 AM): minsan duwag naman ako,bka palpak kasi.. edi wag na tuloy
eblucio (1:49:24 AM): =), pero iniisip ko. ok lang. madami pa oras
eblucio (1:49:54 AM): dayan. bat mo naiisip na sana d k n lang nagshift?
jinx1147 (1:51:43 AM): ksi, hindi naman ata nagmamatter ang course.. yun econ life mshadong magulo, parang tunay na buhay, hindi katulad sa stat.. nagbubuhay HS ako noon
eblucio (1:52:55 AM): sa tingin mo ba hindi ka maguguluhan sa stat?hindi mo ba naisip ang hassle ng pagiisip kung magdodrop ka ba sa stat 121. or ung hassledail sa hindi mo alam ang trabaho mo pagkagraduate mo
eblucio (1:54:54 AM): diane.mnagsend ako ng para sa BA 190.sana aralin natin
jinx1147 (1:55:10 AM): yep. got it..aralin ko sa weekend.. tinatapos ko lng final draft ko ngayon
eblucio (1:56:15 AM): ok. gudlak blokmate sa tisis mo ah. =) kaya mo yan. alam mo nmng aydol kita eh
eblucio (1:57:14 AM): alam mo dayan. iniisip ko lang. pano kaya kung hindi kita nakilala. hehehe. siguro ibang iba lahat (chaos theory)
jinx1147 (1:58:24 AM): yep!
jinx1147 (1:58:29 AM): ako rin!
eblucio (2:02:08 AM): alam mo dayan. iniisip ko lang. pano kaya kung hindi kita nakilala. hehehe. siguro ibang iba lahat (chaos theory)
jinx1147 (2:05:07 AM): sbi ko nga ako din..

bkit kau 'to naisip ni ed? meron kaya akong nagawa para isipin niya what if hindi kami nagkakilala?

jinx1147 (2:05:23 AM): ed!!!
eblucio (2:05:46 AM): dayaN!!!!!!
eblucio (2:05:28 AM): oi!salamt sa dragon at auto ha!
eblucio (2:05:42 AM): dinadrayb ko na ung auto at inaalagaan ung dragon
jinx1147 (2:05:48 AM): no prob!
eblucio (2:14:20 AM): ei
eblucio (2:14:20 AM): bye na!2log n ako.
jinx1147 (2:14:42 AM): bye!

mga katulad ni ED, sana hindi ko makalimutan. mga taong hindi man magmarka panghabangbuhay ang pangalan sa aking alaala, subalit ang puso'y lulukso, tutulungang makintal ng isip ang mga masasayang bagay na aming pinagsamahan.

paalam block o1-blockada. paalam sa econ-sa tuesoc.
baon ko lahat ng mga alaala.

sitting on the couch...alone... nasenti tuloy...

2005-03-23T23:54:00.000+08:00

a gin
capable of granting
every wish
every whim

a carriage
a castle
a prince
a perfect life?

genuinely
it's love
happiness
iv longed

ethereal
beyond grasp
beyond magic
will i ever?

2005-03-23T01:28:00.000+08:00

have you met my bestest friends in the world?

lips:)

2005-03-22T21:57:00.000+08:00

mathematician? visual payag pa ako...
lips:)

gusto ko na BABOY! 'kaw, gusto mo ng BABOY?

2005-03-08T11:17:00.000+08:00

When encountering the Boar, we sense his or her quiet sincerity and purity.

The Boar is
honest, indulgent and forgiving of others than he is of himself.

without artifice or pretense, and dislikes forcing himself on others or being the center of attention. akala ko dahil sa middle child syndrome to

Chivalrous, gallant, obliging, scrupulous to a fault

naive, innocent, confident, and defenseless

allows himself to be duped easily, accepts his own faults calmly, and those of others with tolerant understanding.

incredibly sincere and always disarmed by the bad faith of others

lies rarely, and then only to defend himself

Powerless against hypocrisy, will often crucify himself in an attempt to justify his actions kaya pla parati akong defensive

an absolutely straight dealer and uncompromising

believes without question whatever anyone tells him but always finding it necessary to produce proof of what he himself asserts! i seem to finding myself trying to explain myself

Possessing a strong sense of luxury: extravagant and takes great pleasure in pampering themselves and their loved ones; they delight in the stimulation of the senses. However, when they need to work they will get right to it. At these times a half-hearted attitude just won't do; where they're concerned, it's all or nothing.

a splendid companion, so much fun, and game for a risque evening. He doesn't say much, but when he does decide to speak, suddenly the barriers are down and nothing can stop him until the subject's exhausted. hmm, parang ako hindi, parati akong bangka, ayaw ko ng tahimik, except pag...

intellectual, a character with a great thirst for knowledge. He reads a lot, but reads anything that happens to be around. Although he appears to be well read, the Boar's knowledge is only superficial. so true.. gusto ko lang malaman kung kailangan lng tlga malaman

sensitive, caring, and indulgent. Not only intelligent and cultured, the Boar also has a streak of bawdiness and earthiness. Their various indulgences can verge on gluttony. kaya pla ako malusog.. hahaha

can be very practical, logical and down to earth. They may at times be considered somewhat cool and reserved because, blessed as they are with composure and self-control, they don't usually allow emotion to cloud the issue.

cheerful and love company and social life; easy to make friends; seem to hang on to them for life. For them, the Boar is capable of the greatest sacrifices. guilty pleasure ko 'to

extremely considerate of the chosen few who do merit his affection. pag hindi naman kita feel, mangisay ka man, don't care honey!

The women of this sign like nothing better than to make presents for people and organize parties; they are marvelous hostesses. dapat tlga culinary arts na lang talaga inaral ko!

Whatever his ambitions may be, whatever the tasks and goals he has set himself, the Boar will do his duty with all the strength he is capable of, and that same strength can be an inner force to be reckoned with, a force that nothing can oppose.

Once a Boar has come to a decision, nothing can stop him from carrying it out. But before he arrives at it, he spends ages weighing the pros and cons, which sometimes gives the impression that he is indecisive. Nothing could be further from the truth, but to make sure he is avoiding any possible complications, he will sometimes ponder for so long that he destroys his own case. iv been branded to be indecisive... i guess i just dont like making stupid and hasty decisions. experience has taught me how haste can mess up everything!

Untiring workers, Boars will succeed in their careers , especially if they are their own boss. Because they like to accumulate ancient objects and fine pictures, they might become art dealers, specializing in antiquities.

Their aim is to live in relative affluence, both for themselves and their families, and to enjoy the pleasures of life. Materially, the Boar will always have all the necessities of life, regardless of his chosen career. for real???

Work and money in sufficient quantities seems to gravitate his way without his having to make any particular effort. People will help him all his life, and thanks to this help he will be able, if he wishes, to reach the highest heights in the financial world.

Boar may be overwary and trust nobody praning siguro!

Though generally tolerant and fairly placid people, when absolutely backed into a corner, Boars can turn vicious. When they find that their friendship and good nature have been seriously abused, they will give no quarter and that friendship will somewhat unceremoniously be cut short.

can be accused of exhibitionism, of being flirtatious (hmmm) and even licentious at times, but there is no doubt that Boars in general are very good sorts -- honest, decent, generous, supportive, loyal to their friends, and thoroughly trustworthy.

The first phase of the Boar's life will be relatively calm. During the second, every conceivable conjugal problem will be visited upon him. But whatever his troubles, the Boar, discreet and shy, will never ask anybody else for help; he'll try to get out of the mess by himself. His reticence in this respect may do him harm, for nobody will even suspect the torment he's going through.

The Passionate Boar Above all else, Boars are sensual, self-indulgent creatures. They adore anything that smacks of physical pleasure, whether it is gorging themselves with sweetmeats or idling a whole day away with their newfound heart throbs between their satin sheets. kilig!

Passionate by nature, some younger Boars could tend towards promiscuity while some of the older ones could well become bawdy and lascivious. WILD!

Unfortunately for them, love seems somehow to befog many a Boar; when deeply smitten, their emotions become rather transparent and they can become putty in the hands of unscrupulous types who can induce them to behave quite out of character. They may often be deceived, often disappointed, often made a fool of ... and often loved.

The female Pig makes a very good mother.(wait lang)

very family-oriented.

Their attitude toward dating is often open and direct and sometimes a little over eager. nku, iv had an embarassing experience!

Once married, the Boar strives to maintain a harmonious, lasting family relationship. They are loving and loyal to their mates, and caring and considerate towards those they love. In any close, intimate relationship it is friendship that the Boar will value most.

Settled with the right partner, these generous, warm hearted individuals will enjoy happy and contented lives, developing their talents within that supportive framework and devoting themselves completely to their family and their loved ones.

With their simplicity of soul and their sensual appreciation of nature, the Boar always seeks the authentic and the true in personal relationships.

The Boar would be well advised to share his or her life with those born under the sign of the Rabbit -- that's the surest way of avoiding arguments. sino bang mga rabbit? pero am boring naman nun.. alang arguments!

He must keep out of the clutches of the Snake , who will make a complete slave out of the Boar in no time, enmeshing him in his coils to the extent that the poor Boar loses all power of movement.

The Ram shares his love for peace, beauty and a common aesthetic, which makes for a happy relationship.

Like the Rabbit , the Tiger and Rat are excellent partners for the Boar,
but the Monkey is not honest enough for his taste and the Rooster may try to take advantage of him.

December is the month of the Boar. The time of the Boar is from 9:00 p.m. to 10:59 p.m.; their direction of orientation is north-northwest. The Boar's color is dark blue.

pwede na.

2005-03-07T17:27:00.000+08:00

well well well...

CORRECTION: it was indeed a great weekend

2005-02-25T13:02:00.000+08:00

(check out my earlier entry)

as stupid as i was...
i though i "lost" my fone...

i have even figured out how
i actually thought i lost it!

but then..
i had my car washed last sunday..
and guess what's underneath the car mat?

yes, you guessed it right...

my fone has been lying there all week!!!!

the car wash boy gave it back to me..
im guessing he has no idea that i've already accepted
that i've lost my fone

was that luck or plain carelessness!?

abt that weekend's chinese regatta: i'm still not sure how we fared exactly.. but i guess we won something!!! we are racing this saturday, the 12th of march!!! weee!!! hoooorah for the UPDT women's crew..

maalala ko: excuse me IDOL, hindi kita binatukan, it wasnt even my idea to hit you or anything, it was the pacer's message, i just passed it on.. sorry for my megaphone voice...just want to clear that up!!!

weee!!! cant wait to train again for UPDT.. promise, after the econ elections, full time rower na ito.. (i wish!)

wait going back to my lost fone: the old number is active again, you can reach me again through my smart number!!!

ciao for now!

great weekend na sana!

2005-02-13T16:27:00.000+08:00

i lost my fone this morning, along the manila baywalk ata. i must've dropped it. ganyan talaga pag bangag from a superfun hotness night. kelangan talaga me spoiler for the week. ang bilis talaga ng KARMA. Lord, tulungan mo ako. Daddy canno t know that i lost a unit again. :(

So, friends, if you need to reach me, buzz me lang in my sun number:

0922 4** 8* 6* tama si tiepee.. stupid! i-plug ba on line ang number?.. just buzz me at my YM account: jinx1147, in case you need to reach me!

dont forget to say who you are.. aryt?

speaking of last night... i had a lovely evening with the frisbee people in bellisima (the fort). we were rocking the floor big time. sabi ni papa rio, sila daw ni moni wholesome, ako daw hindi. WHOLESOME naman ako. nothing foul happening. i was just enjoying myself and the company of 'sore throat' EMMAN. whootwoo. ang happy ko lang talaga. period.

hmm.

pero, parusa. my body is super weary already. last week was econ week and this week is UP fair week. i am sooo not going to sleep this week. lord, bahala ka na sa akin. (parang wala acad concern noh, t0 think na midterms ko sa business policy-BA190- class ko)

eun. banggitin naman natin: THE UP DRAGONBOAT Team, women's crew won the CHINESE REGATTA this morning!!! hindi ko lng tinapos. iv yet to discover kung anong place namin.

speaking of kabanggagan.. rio (UPDT) was with us last night at belli. i thought we left the place nearly at the same time. we were assuming he could handle bringing the oars pa in time for the race this morning. guess what, he wasn picking up his fone this morning!!! when i got to his place to get the oars myself, shocker #2: he didnt even reach home. and, shocker #3: he came around 9ish in manila bay wearing the same thing he was wearing earlllllly morn at belli. COMEDY ka rio. nagpapahuli na bad boy sha. nga pala bad boy ka nga. minsan nakakaasar ka na nga dapat e, pero i cant seem to find enought hatred pra anooo.... wala.

ay, tama na nga.. bka kung ano pang ma-pour out ko dito. konting restraint naman.

eto na lang: had fun EMMAN. you are the coolest. you gained like a million pogi points from me, renewed respect talaga! SALUDO. sana men nowadays will become more like you.. tamang mix lng..maginoo pero mejo bastos!

LoVeLesS

2005-01-22T15:00:00.000+08:00

boy, i need some real loving.
it's much more painful to find yourself surrounded and yet lonely.

My BoY bud DiGo: looking back

2005-01-08T13:39:00.001+08:00

this was a foto of DIGO and me taken last year. forgive my poor memory but i dont remeber exactly if this were the 3rd or 4th time that we went out for our long coffee chats.

i dont remember anymore how everything began. (maybe with his help, i can recall.) basta we had coffee. we clicked. we talked till before the sun rose. yes, it was hours of talking, but it was all worthwhile. it never felt like we were killing time at all. ganito kami kadaldal.

we always banter each other with all sorts of hirit, but we never fail to patronize each other. oo nga naman, there is a very thin line between loving and hating, and we always find ourselves sitting along the border.

My BoY bud DiGo: about us

2005-01-08T13:39:00.000+08:00

virtually, i can say that whenever we are together, we can talk, RELENTLESSLY. we can talk the whole day but never seem to ran out of words to say. we are alike in many ways, the same way we differ in a lot more, but this makes our friendship more interesting. modesty aside, i know that he adores me, or rather he is fond of me. he is one of the few people in my life who is capable of telling me the truth. he is never sacred to blatantly yet lovingly tell me where i am, what i have become, and he's feelings about it. For some reason, his oveflowing love and concern for me has made me so comfortable around me. with him, i put all my pretensions aside and all my defenses down. with him, i am real. i can tell him anything, without the fear of being rejected or misunderstood. he can always make me feel, that no matter how stupid i have become with all the decisions i have been making lately, he is on my side. in fact, he has made feel that he will never leave my side. in the future, if i were to find myself at a loss at certain a crossroad, his just might be the first number i'd be dialing.

i just feel i have not thanked him enough for everything. i am a 'freakin high maintenance' kind of gal who has simple joys (weird huh?) and he has managed to mesh with this quirkiness of mine. but the drama stops here....

My BoY bud DiGo: jan 7

2005-01-08T13:37:00.000+08:00

yesterday, i desperately wanted to watch oceans 12. great thing DIGO had a great timing. a text after another, then we ended up spending the entire late noon till a little early this morning (1am) together.

1st stop. aroun 4 pm. boom's home. we had saba + chocolate milk mula sa gatas ng mga kalabaw ng Laguna+ ensaymada ala fruitcake (bakit kasi me jello like thingy dun sa ensaymada). we got dead set at having a movie marathon in a good cinema (basta wag lng mega cinema. we have a mutual hatred for this particular SM cinema) then we had to leave in time for boom's dance class at air dance and my case study group meeting.

2nd stop. 5:35 pm. econ lib lobby. dahil mahal nya ako, kahit gusto nyang umuwi, wala na lng shang nagawa kung hindi intayin ako hanggang matapos ang BA190 case study meeting ko. we left econ nearly 7pm already.

MOBILE: crusing from katipunan to ortigas since we have decided on to seing the movies (oceans 12 and kung fu hustle) @ the podium. from UP to BONI, it looked like we'll make it in time for both movies, but from BONI till the Mormon church at the tip of White Plains, cars were crawling their way to the PASIG area.

finally, 3rd stop. 7 :40ish. The Podium. while on the search for a parking slot, i got a text from sister asking me to buy metallic paper (which DIGO had to later correct since it was properly called a tinsel paper because apparently a metallic paper is somthing else. oh well, that's how we use to call it in SPCP). we planned to check the movie sked first, a quick stop to NBS and a snack bar then off to watch the movies. Just like our most recent date during the break, we caught sight, once again, of the sexy grampa Edu Manzano. (Man, he's old yet still very sexy ala Richard Gere). Dont think im into entertainment heartthrobs, (though i sooo adooooore Drew Arellano), its just that sometimes, you've conjured this idea that people like them are like 'this', but then you bump into them in the mall, then you catch yourself flushed or gushing over them. enough of daddy EDU. when we got to the cinema area, the only seat available were five seats thrown across all over of cinema 1. it was bad enough that we didn't make in time to catch both movies, but to be sitting apart, HELL NO! At booms house, iv tried calling the podium cinema several times, but i either received an unanswered ring or busy tone on the other end of the line. NBS podium didnt have any 'TINSEL' paper. We decided to move on the next best thing, Robinson's Galleria.

4th stop. around 8:20. Robinson's Galleria. we made a quick stop to NBS to buy my sister's green and gold tinsel paper (for her cheering pompoms). strangely, while i was on the fone with my sister, the girl beside me picking the same set of tinsel papers recognized me. it's odri's sister. why so odd? my sister and odri has confusing relationship. iv seen ods, but iv never personally met her siblings. oh well, too much for that, that's a different story that id rather see in my sister's blog (what's her ad btw).moving on. i just couldnt believe it. Galle Cinema charges 151 for reserved seats??? i'd rather go all the way to G4 or Greenbelt 3 or try the Gateway (which i hasnt been graced by my presence) than to spend ill my 151 pesos. Great thing they were offering oceans 12 (which i preferred over kung fu hustle given the time sked constraint) in another cinema. the movie was going to start at 9.30 but it was an open cinema so we have to be in cinema 6 early to beat the others to great seat spots. we bought 'healthy' dinner a popeye's. (watch the sarcas on healthy). digo and i decided on living a healthier lifestyle this year, which, hopefully, i can keep given my ballooning weight. before buying dinner at popeye's, we made a short stop to GREENWHICH (wait, is this how you spell it) PIZZA. haha. we just had to check out monica's face on the cover of the G-discount card. [got to see it already MONI. you were right in the middle of the foto. ]artistahin na ang team cap namin. wahahaha. [micko, you better check it out yourself, para sa laugh trip.] moving on. we bought dinner, scrambled for great seats (whic we did have), and super enjoyed oceans 11's sequel. next stupid stop. Galle parking lot. neither of us made a mental note where we parked. good thing our feet set us on the right direction. it didnt take that long before we could find my car.

last stop. 12ish. starbucks emerald. this use to be early for me to be home, but lately, my dad has been making an issue over my late nights. so, this time, we only have an hour left for coffee chat before i drive myself home. as usual ( a friday), emerald ave. was packed with cars. we managed to park a little further away from starbucks, but it was just a quick walk. when we got to starbucks, i didn'nt really feel like having coffee [yet]. i still felt full from dinner. though, given digo's rapid metabollism, he was already in for a snack. we jumped from one topic to another as he feasts on his belgian waffle smothered with a healthy serving of whipped cream and real strawberry syrup (good thing i wasnt really in the mood for sweets) and, take note, freshly squeezed orange juice. [si digo, feeling healthy. sabagay kelangan naman nya ang fat.] i had a long day, so as the clock was approaching to hit my 1am deadline, i was beginning to feel weary and sleepy already. we ended the evening with a bear hug. he brought me to my car, said our goodbyes and i drove home with a smile.

what a long day. pagod. eh ano ngayon! nakangiti naman ako.

A brand New YEAR! Happy New Year everyone!

2005-01-02T21:30:00.000+08:00

brand new room??? nah.. just tidied-up my room a bit and moved the furnitures. new year nga naman. i was just in the mood for a cleaner me! (aaahhkck, diane sticking up her finger inside her mouth).

feelingera. some people say that cleaning up your physical atmosphere is somewhat a beginning or at least a call for inner purging. do you buy that?

pwede na. just had to make something right to feel right.

i have been meaning to change a lot this year, but im too scared to write it publicly and feel disappointed at year-end, upon realizing what a failure i am (with respect to this year's resolution).. don't buy all of this that much, im just being overly dramatic. part of who i am already. haha...

since changes ang pinag-uusapan.. i wish for either of two things...

one. to finally take the plunge, fall madly in-love. accept that i'm human after-all and accepting that i'm just a girl waiting to be wooed by THE BOY. yes, it has to be THE BOY.

or

two. stop playing the field. accept it. it is not your time. remember what happened in 2004? you thought that life's short and that you need to grab your chances while you can grasp it? look what it did to you? you got hurt. worse. you have been having a hard time moving on. you still seem to talk about him a lot. reminisce the few times you were together. ALL HAPPY TIMES. he treated you well, but it was not enough for you. what do you want?

maybe, that's what i will have to discover this 2005. WHAT DO I WANT?

2004-12-26T20:24:00.000+08:00

YM doodle namin ni STAN a while ago. cuteness. ;)

pwedeng mag senti????

2004-12-26T14:17:00.001+08:00

Maybe we will never be seen together
at night on a crowded street
Maybe I'll never reach across your body
to kill the light when you're asleep
Maybe I'll never watch you dressing
Won't sound too familiar on the phone
But I can touch your hand accidentally
and take that moment home.

- from mika palileo's signature
in one of her most recent e-mails

i have finally broken my silence to my ever beloved BARX. what a great relief that i dont have to keep anything from them anymore. i am thankful of the fact that they made everything easier than i thought it would be.

what'S BUGGING me...

the news didnt come from my own loud mouth. it had to circle its way through people's mouth. it had to cross the katipunan fence (yes, from UPSE to ADMU College of Management and Bio). i didnt realize people do talk about it even though they dont know you. wala na ba silang ibang mapag-usapan! nyeta!

sleepless nights...

i have been thinking a lot more than usual ( can you just imagine WHAT A LOT MORE THAN USUAL meant?.. uhm.. every other minute???) it saddens me to think that i am old enough to do almost anything, but iv always been scared to do most of them.

i have so many fears. i seem to feel torn most of the time. i am not even sure what i want anymore, but one thing is for sure, i have been having a lot of regrets lately. i seem to only realize that i want something once iv lost my chance to posses them. i dont know if just love the feeling of being challenged, of taking the rougher route, of feeling defeated??? wag naman sana.

in pain...

siguro bukas, pag gising ko makakalimutan ko na lahat. na naghahabol lang ako kasi hindi na ako ang hinahabol ngayon. na dapat mapagod na akong malungkot at umiyak. bakit ba ako nagpapakahon??? hindi naman ako ganito ah. hindi naman talaga ako ganito? isang araw, nagising na lang ako, nakaluhod at nakatungo na ako.

i shouldn't have put my guard down. sabi ko na, ako ang talo dito. ang hirap ng matigas ang ulo, hindi na marunong makinig. pero kung titignan mo nga naman, nakinig naman ako e, hindi nga lang sa ulo. mashado kasi nagpakababae.

half- baked retribution...

gaganti sana ako. pero simula pa lang gera nararamdaman ko nang matatalo ko. i should have known better. i've already learned in the past that i should learn how to pick my battles. obviously this is a battle i may never win, so why go through all the pain, if all the sacrifices will go to waste...

2004-12-21T11:36:00.000+08:00

nov 15: last day in boracay just before our 11 am flight back to manila. nagbanana boat kami. trying to squeeze in as much activity as we can during our last few hours in boracay!

2004-12-21T11:33:00.000+08:00

nov 15 boracay: my brother, morris, and my sister, maan, usurping the camera's memory with their lovable fotos.

2004-12-21T11:21:00.000+08:00

nov 14, boracay: this is me and my sister, maan. just had dinner at aria. walking along the shore, trying to be cute.

2004-12-21T11:13:00.000+08:00

nov 13:boracay with my family. going island hopping!

2004-12-21T11:02:00.000+08:00

oct 27: GUIMARASSSSSSSS. one word: HAPPINESS

2004-12-21T10:57:00.000+08:00

oct 25: the very majestic Miag ao Church

2004-12-21T10:53:00.000+08:00

oct 25: General Assembly Student Councils (of UP) in Miag ao Iloilo

2004-12-21T10:40:00.000+08:00

oct 22: UPDT's Row-Union at SSS Village Markina

2004-12-21T10:39:00.000+08:00

oct 22: on my home from our (moni, pen, joaquin, raffy and micko) bataan escapade!

SEM break of AY 04-05

2004-12-02T10:36:00.000+08:00

typhoon yoyong is hitting the country today. with it's eye hitting region IV at a fierce speed (signal #4), add to that the impact of two prior storm, the NDCC will be ont its ass for weeks, maybe even for months.. (update lng: yoyong was soo mad that it took soo many lives. my council went to the sagip kapamilya at ABS CBN to volunteer and bring relief goodies. you'll be amazed by the amount of relief goods and the abundance of volunteers.. this is the real spirit of Filipino nationalism!)

so, here i am..
spending a little extra time at home...
updating my blog which has been scarce from my blabs for almost a month..
----------------------------------------------------------------

let me start by sharing you my SUPER sem break!

this was definitely one hell of a sem break..
i was soo busy, i was soo occupied..
it felt like i was everywhere..
pure bliss..
it just hit me.. i was made for traveling..
i can live like this forever...
it was really tiring..
sleep was not part of your daily vocabulary..
fun or happiness was my every other word

check out the pictures up there ^, which ill upload soon.. i guess

i fell from the hazelnut tree

2004-11-04T21:45:00.000+08:00

according to this mail i received recently..
since i was born between september 24 and october 3... october 1, 1983 to be exact..

i must've fallen from a hazelnut tree...which meant that i am...

Hazelnut Tree (Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression,active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody,sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness

id like to believe i possess most of these.. except for maybe honesty (though i am, relatively) and my "precise judgement"

i actually have lots to share(bataan, GASC, iloilo, guimaras), but i just had a long day today. i think i better cut this one short and finally allow my weary body to rest.

till next time.

my ganda beshie leaving

2004-10-14T04:24:00.000+08:00

huhuhuhu:( mah beshie ganda is leaving the country, we havent spoken in months now. not because there's a rift going on. i was (maybe we were) just too god**** busy. i heard some rumors as to why she is leaving, but i'll never believe them. i will believe what she'll tell. BUT. iv texted her, her replies were very laconic. God, help us. I dont know what i'll do if i'd learn that she left the country without saying goodbye to me. 10 years of friendship??? what coulde she be hiding from me? We use to share almost anything? What happened? I feel that it is mostly my fault!huhuhuhu:(

i must be blessed

2004-10-12T01:09:00.000+08:00

one more blessing
i had a lovely evening. i have found someone to inspire me to fully become a renewed spirit. i never really expected it to be him. we were introduced before, but it was just now that we have become more intimate. he is a real blessing to me, i must say.

joaquin shared to us (mother micko, penn and ina) his faith. his passion and conviction was oozing. it was strong enough to touch everyone's senses. he is really admirable. im glad i met him. GOD was too kind to bless me with someone like him. i must be blessed and well-loved.

i was lost
in the middle of our conversation, i somehow admitted to joaquin that i feel i got lost. yes, i got lost. at the onset of my consciousness (of life), i knew where i wanted to go. but, for some reason, on my way there, i made a wrong turn. i made foolish decisions. to top that, just to save my ass, i had to cover it up with so much lies. too much that i felt confused. one thing lead to another. i was so immersed in all my deceitfulness that i totally lost my way.

bad company
to add fuel to the fire, i found people who condoned all these. they didnt see right through me. they allowed me to immerse myself in this much waste. we found pleasure in unimportant and unnecessary things. we lived excessively. i have become bitter, self-centered, shallow and ill-tempered. i sort of knew some things were getting out of hand, but still, i was too stubborn to get out while things were less crazy. bad decisions. bad actions. bad motives.

blame me
i had bad company, but all of these were a personal choice. thus, there is no one else to blame but me. and now, that i have accepted all these, i know things will be better. i really believe that acceptance of one's flaw is the first move to make effective changes in one's life. i may still be far but i believe that i will get there.

this is my battle
in the beginning, after iv come to realize all these, i started reading some inspirational materials. Almost halfway through the book, the writer suggested that i look for a group--a cell that can aid me in finding my path and my purpose. I was too lazy to find one and settled to hurdle things on my own. i was too proud. i knew that this is my battle, and no one else can secure me victory but myself.

blessings
i was wrong. HE knew i needed help, but he didnt punish my arrogance. HE even made me see things HIS way by introducing these wonderful individuals in my life. HE gave me friends who will spiritually guide me to become who HE has planned me to become. I take them as a blessing. I will be forever grateful to these people. Indebted with this much gratitude, i intend to glorify our friendship by touching other people's lives as well.

this a great beginning-- a great leap. i must really be blessed.

August 17-22: HPAIR World Conference in Shanghai, China

2004-10-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

8-19: International Night kya everyone was in their Filipiñana

2004-10-09T22:41:00.000+08:00

8-21: GALA--dinner, party, booze!

2004-10-09T22:27:00.000+08:00

August 17-22: shanghai fotos. lovely fotos. lovely people.

2004-10-09T22:18:00.000+08:00

8-17:Arrival at the Pudong International Airport

3rd Leg of the PDBF Race 2004

2004-10-09T20:34:00.000+08:00

9-12: post race @ Vanjo's in SSS Vill., Marikina

2004-10-09T20:32:00.000+08:00

9-12: third leg of the PDBF Race @ the Manila Bay

46 proof: shaken, not stirred

2004-10-09T20:01:00.000+08:00

9-25: me and mah sister @ centro libis. hindi naman kami nagpapagimikera ( although...), we just went to ECOSOC's adhoc event: 46 proof: shaken, not stirred

homer's despedida

2004-10-09T19:57:00.000+08:00

9-01: it's me and rey at homer's despedida too! convincing ba na boylet? if only you knew things better.. hahaha

2004-10-09T19:56:00.000+08:00

9-01:it's me and homer during his despedida. he was off to brunei for a scholarship!! weee.. congrats dude..

finally, a meaty entry...

2004-10-09T18:44:00.000+08:00

this page has been here since early this year, but, it's only now that iv found the chance and the drive to actually make a real entry..iv tried making entries before, but for some strange reason, it finds its way not get uploaded.. oh well.. most likely it wasnt time or it wasnt a worthwile material to be placed up here.

allow me to tell you a little about me...

*im a senior in UPD, taking up business economics, hopefully graduating in 5-6 months, semi-confused if im in the right career orientation

*im not the ugliest person on earth, but i am not the prettiest either. im an averaged looking girl who has her great and worst days. i can be very uncomfortable about my weight issues though.

*i come from an average family (that's accdg to my POI). though i know that, i am somehow materially blessed especially compared to some of my peers, i still think that money cannot cover-up for family issues.

*i am super talkative, to add to that, i am really verbose --a lot of people can actually attest to that

*i can be very busy with so many things (econ orgs, council, rowing team, VCM...). a busy body indeed.sadly i recently learned that, you can be very busy yet considerably unproductive.

*i tend to use up my time with nonsensical things. i just have those days when i feel like im drowned into nothingness. yes, i do manage to pull myself together in time, but i wish i can manage my time better in near future.

*i recently went out of my usual box. yes, outside the conformities of my-so-called-life. i had fun while it lasted, but til now i dont know where everything stands. yes, i got hurt, but iv always tried to act unfazed by these recent events in my life. at least, i dared to jumped; i'll never wonder about the what ifs. though i still have one set of what ifs, what if tried to let myself fall-in love? Would he have fallen for me too? Are these questions manifestations that i actually did fell and that im just freakin scared of being honest and realizing how painful and sad this even has become?

*and yes.. i do psycho-analyze myself at times. i am typically pensive. when im struck by an occasion, if somehow i did something wrong in the picture, i replay the event in my head and wish so hard i did something else. this happens a lot of time. what's worse is that these moments can be soooo depressing.

*one thing that makes life worthliving for me (besides my family) are my huge pool of friends. we've heard people say that your friends are your wealth. as for me, i really consider my friends to be sooo precious. they make me happy. BUT, they also cause me pain. maybe that's why it's called loving your friends. they are meant to cause pain but bring bliss as well. but, ever read through dashboard's lyrics in so beautiful? it says something like: you can list your friends, but cant count on them. such a sad statement, but can be so true in certain instances.

allow me to end here...

but, warning: this is just a little bit of me. you can see me unfold more of me and my issues in life if you'll keep visiting this blog...

i hope this entry didnt feel like a waste..

technology: a real pain in the ass

2004-03-04T01:57:00.000+08:00

i made this quite a while ago
March 3, 2004
1.20 pm
but im posting it just now...

i know how some of you can sooo relate..

i have a lot of tasks to accomplish, but as confusion kicks in, i am left staring in space, wondering which job to do first.

i have a fear that all these procrastinations will take its toll..

what have i done so far?
i just did my overdue article for SIDHI, econ's college paper.
i had printed all the letter i have yet to fax to companies to market sponsors for UPDT's (UP Dragon boat Team).
i missed training this morning, because i just didnt feel like coming.

what's coming up?
my friend is coming over in an hour because she needs my help for her birthday party on Saturday.
i have 2 exams coming up next week which i practically know nothing about. Just listen to the course title: Development Economics and Corporate Finance I... whew!
i am having my perpetual weight crisis which is practically aggravated by the fact that i have my period today.
i am struck by sloth today!!!
i am doomed not finish all of these on time!!!

to add to that!
i have the worst net connection lately!
i dont even know if this post can be properly published by my sucky connection.

ill have to trunkate this one. this is pulling my morale lower, further, from when i began..

harsh!

understand why i made this a while ago but im posting it just now?

just pissed!

2004-02-16T02:37:00.000+08:00

i just typed maybe more than a thousand words in my prior post. i was poring my hearts out for my pilot entry. when i felt like ending it, i hit the "preview your post" button.

then...

the page reflected "cannot find server".

my entry was gone.
my mood had gone.
i dont feel like writing everything i just wrote again.

technology can be a major pain!

finally, i have succumbed to public blogging.

2004-02-16T01:45:00.000+08:00