pwedeng mag senti????

Maybe we will never be seen together
at night on a crowded street
Maybe I'll never reach across your body
to kill the light when you're asleep
Maybe I'll never watch you dressing
Won't sound too familiar on the phone
But I can touch your hand accidentally
and take that moment home.

- from mika palileo's signature
in one of her most recent e-mails

i have finally broken my silence to my ever beloved BARX. what a great relief that i dont have to keep anything from them anymore. i am thankful of the fact that they made everything easier than i thought it would be.

what'S BUGGING me...

the news didnt come from my own loud mouth. it had to circle its way through people's mouth. it had to cross the katipunan fence (yes, from UPSE to ADMU College of Management and Bio). i didnt realize people do talk about it even though they dont know you. wala na ba silang ibang mapag-usapan! nyeta!

sleepless nights...

i have been thinking a lot more than usual ( can you just imagine WHAT A LOT MORE THAN USUAL meant?.. uhm.. every other minute???) it saddens me to think that i am old enough to do almost anything, but iv always been scared to do most of them.

i have so many fears. i seem to feel torn most of the time. i am not even sure what i want anymore, but one thing is for sure, i have been having a lot of regrets lately. i seem to only realize that i want something once iv lost my chance to posses them. i dont know if just love the feeling of being challenged, of taking the rougher route, of feeling defeated??? wag naman sana.

in pain...

siguro bukas, pag gising ko makakalimutan ko na lahat. na naghahabol lang ako kasi hindi na ako ang hinahabol ngayon. na dapat mapagod na akong malungkot at umiyak. bakit ba ako nagpapakahon??? hindi naman ako ganito ah. hindi naman talaga ako ganito? isang araw, nagising na lang ako, nakaluhod at nakatungo na ako.

i shouldn't have put my guard down. sabi ko na, ako ang talo dito. ang hirap ng matigas ang ulo, hindi na marunong makinig. pero kung titignan mo nga naman, nakinig naman ako e, hindi nga lang sa ulo. mashado kasi nagpakababae.

half- baked retribution...

gaganti sana ako. pero simula pa lang gera nararamdaman ko nang matatalo ko. i should have known better. i've already learned in the past that i should learn how to pick my battles. obviously this is a battle i may never win, so why go through all the pain, if all the sacrifices will go to waste...